Dating Tips for Kitchen Martyrs at the Holidays – Hooking Up with the Right Feast

Dating Tips for Kitchen Martyrs at the Holidays – Hooking Up with the Right Feast

“So I hear you are hosting the holiday at your house. Would you like me to bring anything?”

“No thanks, I’d rather martyr myself.”

What is this perversity in the soul of a host that takes the entire holiday dinner on their shoulders? Are we just show offs? I think it’s more likely we know how we want everything to taste and don’t want to risk food gaps in the holiday potluck. Honestly, don’t you hate it when you assign a green salad to someone and they bring cheese and crackers instead?

The host as the chef, sous chef, garde manger and patissiere all rolled into one should be considered not only for their path to sure glory and martyrdom – “you made the brown sauce from the ground up AND the stew AND the chocolate frosted angel food cake, AND the roasted squash for us?” – but also for their gift of food and hospitality to family and friends.

To enter the house of a good cook on the holidays, pull up a chair and eat well is not only gastronomically satisfying, it also satisfies the cook’s inner need of caring for others and the guests’ appreciation for such hospitality. You are satiating your guests’ need to lay their burdens down and just enjoy good food and great company and not have to work the meal. It’s called providing or enjoying hospitality, depending on whether you’re the cook or the guest, and both the giver and the consumer of it are equally blessed, especially when family and friends are near. It is a real gift that I love giving, year after year, meal after meal.

For those cooks like myself who take on the entire holiday meal themselves, here are a few tips for making your time lines, delicious healthy food and still having the energy to smile and enjoy the meal and the party once the doorbell rings.

Plan Your Meal – Yes, I agree, this one sounds obvious, but you might pay dearly if you wing it. Decide from a list of appetizers, entrees and desserts that you’d like to make, then step back from your list and talk to a partner, friend or family member out loud about the possible choices. Describe aloud the flavors, cooking times, level of difficulty, fat content, color and timing. It’s akin to weighing the pros and cons of a date, because that’s who you’ll be out with for the evening and you want it to work and be fun! Use paper and pen and make 4 columns, and one page for each course you will serve. For example:

Holiday Menu – Entrees

Entrees Beef with Onions and Carrots	Pros Rich, delicious. Can be made a day or two ahead; can use a CrockPot  for cooking	Cons Needs brown sauce , which is time consuming to make The stew itself takes 4 hours to cook;	Final Menu Choice
Roasted Turkey	Easy to make; lower in fat content	Uses most of the oven for 20 mins/lb; requires gravy making just before serving time; I just served it at Thanksgiving.
Spiral Sliced Ham	Very little prep: can reheat in oven and make sauce.	Salty, high in fat; processed.

Then use this graphic tool to think of the paring and, yes, dating if you will, of how the entire menu will “get along” with you and your guests.

1. Is he/she too fat? We at Food for the Ages recommend preparing only one rich, higher-fat item in the meal, such as a rich beef stew and then lighten up on everything else, fat-wise.
2. Are they too complex? There are so many delightful, simple things you can create is it really necessary to make a Yule Log with Mocha Buttercream Frosting and Meringue Mushrooms for dessert in addition to the four-course meal?—please say no!!
3. Does he seem, upon reflection, to be too carb-oriented for your active, healthy lifestyle? Consider that many are carb-less, gluten free or at least trying to not blow out of their clothing at your table so having mashed potatoes, stuffing, rolls and Yorkshire Pudding at one meal is over the top…Pick one deliciously made carb and go with it.
4. Do they mix well in a crowd? Make sure your food plan choices relate well to each other. For example, if your main course is Duck a la Orange serving it with green chile and tamales on the plate will not harmonize well. You will want everything on your plate to enhance the other items.
5. Are they always late? Go over the timing of everything and how it will be cooked: Consider what will be in the oven at serving time and what can you make a day in advance (pie crust and fillings, cakes, custards and mousse, flan; you can peel potatoes and store them in the fridge in salted water for a day before using; undressed lettuce can be prepped ahead; lay your table: dinnerware, silverware, wine glasses, linens and take time to enjoy how beautiful it looks before everyone you love arrives and starts spilling gravy and messing it up.)

 

Let Your Friends and Family Help Clean Up the Kitchen Before and After the Meal – We have all been there. You look down at your watch and it’s 15 minutes before guests arrived and there is a sink full of dishes. Your sister arrives and offers to do the dishes while you get ready. Amen to that, sister! Let people help.

Take Time to Relax and Enjoy Your Own Party!—Guests get uncomfortable when they see the host or hostess stressing out over the meal/party. If you plan well and complete as much as you can ahead you will have time to be a guest at your own, great party!