NORWOOD, Colo., January 12, 2021 — While the Capitol Building in Washington, D.C. was being stormed, the little town of Norwood was wrestling with its own wave of violence… fowl violence, as it turns out.
It started with strange sightings, missing pets, and a deepening sense of mystery fueled by a swarm of comments on the Norwood Collective Facebook page. Supposition, conjecture and fear led to shady insinuations, grainy photos reminiscent of the Loch Ness monster, and calls for both death and mercy for the perpetrator.
“Hoodlum!” shouted a young woman.
“Get a gun!” demanded another and added an I-don’t-know emoji followed by one with a cheesy grin.
“There’s a fox in my kitchen,” joked a man, posting a picture of his lovely wife, giving him a what-are-you-doing-honey look.
But it wasn’t a fox. It was something much more dangerous, aggressive, and audacious….
“Is that a badger?” asked a local fisherman.
Rachel, whose 8 chickens recently disappeared from her yard in town, said, “Yes! He was hissing at me last night!”
“Wow! I didn’t realize we had badgers! And I thought the skunks were aggressive!” said the fisherman.
“He looks so innocent lol,” shuddered another woman.
“They’re so cute, but so angry, lol,” said a woman in the know.
Photo by Rachel Allen.
“Carrying around my dead chicken’s body right by the front door. That’s just ruthless,” said Rachel, who first sounded the alarm on Norwood Collective that fateful January 6th, guessing it might be a fox who killed and stole her 8 chickens. Or many foxes.
But by Thursday she had miraculously identified the single culprit on camera: a badger, who is now implicated in at least 17 fowl mortalities in the town limits of Norwood over the last couple of weeks.
Death Threats
“I will murder it,” asserted one man, who lost many ducks.
Another woman asked if he wasn’t sure if a hungry human had taken his ducks.
He wasn’t sure, but answered flatly, “Still can’t figure out how 5 birds disappear in 2 hours without a trace.” Behold the cunning of the badger.
Responding to Rachel’s “ruthless” statement a woman said, “I kinda doubt a badger has any motivation for ruthlessness. Just doing her job feeding the brood. But she has crossed the line. If fencing her out isn’t working, then sadly it’s time to get her gone. (Back of a shovel to then top of the head?)” Dangerous, according to Forest Service recommendations on dealing with badgers.
An environmentalist and avid gardener blamed climate change, natural catastrophes and more human activity. “A lot more people are raising poultry and small animals in town. These animals probably think they have a smorgasbord to choose from. A lot easier than chasing a wild rabbit or finding a wild turkey,” she said, also referring to official Forest Service information badger management.
“I’d rather have rattlers than badgers,” replied the guy who lost the ducks.
“Their website says to trap them and kill them. I dunno what else to do. Relocation without a permit is not allowed as it is with raccoons and squirrels. I’d be willing to relocate it though. If somebody wants it, they can get the permit. It’s a tricky critter though, only comes once a day to take a duck. No interest in cat food in a trap.”
“Maybe peanut butter?” the environmentalist offered hopefully.
“They carry TB, so not very ranch friendly. Any land that is grazed it will pose a risk to livestock. They catch it through the urine. I’d recommend a bull snake for your community garden though,” he replied.
Her comments dropped off after that.
All Quiet on the Norwood Front
A week later, things have quieted down. Then, tonight a woman jumped on the thread with excitement saying, “I saw the badger at the Forest Service Office tonight! Hahahaha! Cheeky bugger.”
Don’t get me wrong, I am not laughing at or condoning what the badger did. But I do like his cheekiness and audacity. He is a cute, fearless predator. I am very sorry for the loss of my neighbors’ ducks and chickens. Forgive me when I say perhaps it’s time to build a stronger fence to protect your fowl in town.
And what of the badger? He/she/they continue(s) to live in town and shows complete disrespect for all humans, fowl and dogs, quite naturally. We move on, and continue to try to solve problems together on social media, with a bright thread of light, love, tragedy, comedy and caring. And good neighbors. What more is there?
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